Sometimes life can be a tad difficult

No, I am not falling apart. No, I have no illnesses, wounds, broken limbs. But my heart hurts a bit. I don't like it. Sometimes I wish I did not feel so strongly, but then I tell myself at least I "feel" alive. Not excitingly alive. Just not completely dead of heart.

I adore my family and hate to see any of them go through emotional upheaval. Fears of the future, after school, with no real future to speak of. Loans that will have to be paid, years spent on studying something only to find there are no prospects at this time. Times are hard all over especially for young people graduating from college.

I feel badly when I know they are having relationship problems. I am not an expert, I just know that even though things feel terrible at the moment, it will pass. Time and distance do cure many wounds.

I am a mother, with all that comes with the job. I worry about my children, I wish I could help when they go through rough spots, but sometimes a kiss, an ear, or a shoulder are just not enough, and sometimes that is all I can offer.

There is a saying: "Someone should have told us when we became parents that for the rest of our lives our hearts would walk around outside our bodies". My heart is out there riding a bike from St. Paul to the University, riding a bike from Harding to home, and out driving, trying to come to terms with having to really be an adult.

I sometimes wish to keep them always near me. But they need wings and I must encourage them to go out into the world to find their own lives. It is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. To just let go, let them go through hurt, joy, sadness, and all those things that we all go through. They will survive. I think I gave them that at least. And they will become who they are supposed to become.

And I will still be the mother, the wife, and when they need it, a friend.

Rushing

This is a quick post while I wait for my daughter to get me eggs for Phil's cake. I thought I had it all planned out but NO EGGS!

Yes,it is Phil's birthday today and I am making two cakes and potato salad.
Every year Chip and the boys (including Phil) go up to Leech Lake to fish on opening weekend. It usually is on Mother's Day weekend, but I am used to that.

They leave on Friday and come back late on Monday. In past years, I have sent along potato salad but last year I didn't. I was in the process of debating quiting a job that was so horrible, I would come home exhausted every day. I did quit, but like I said, there was no potato salad. Imagine my surprise when the boys called and asked me
where the potato salad had been. I have promised to make it until the end of times.
Its nice that they like it. It is my mother's old recipe....a little of this and a little of that and you mix until it has that perfect taste.

So here I wait. For the eggs. Maybe the cake will be done for dinner. Who knows?
Lucky me my guy is so laid back and will find humor in the situation.

His birthday is always a great day for me too.

Happy Mother's Day to all!!!!

Certain Bargains

Sometimes a bargain is not what you pay for.

My husband and I went to a Fleet Farm so that he could look at some fishing tackle that was on sale. Now, I don't normally shop at Fleet Farm, but while I was waiting for him
(he is so poky), I saw some clothing. Most of the women's clothing was not something I would like, but I did find a pair of black slacks for work. I have lost a bit of weight and I need new clothes so you can imagine my delight when the slacks were only 20 dollars!

I went to work this a.m. all happy with my deal, and an hour into the day, someone pointed out the slit on the right side where the stitching had come loose. It wasn't that way when I left the house. I had to whip stitch it sitting at my desk. I have no idea how long I was having this wardrobe malfunction, but it was embarrassing to say the least.

In future, I will check out a deal better than I did. And I will also admit that I don't plan on clothes shopping at a fleet farm any time soon.

Lovely

I spent the weekend at the cabin. Saturday came cool but sunny. I didn't want to get out from under the electric blanket, but there was work to do.
I cleaned. Rewashing all the dishware and pots and pants. I swept, scrubbed, dusted, and then decided to rearrange everything. More room in the open living area.

I miss that bed during the winter. It is only a full size, and Phil and I have to curl up a bit. Especially if Bufford the lab sneaks on during the night which he did because
of the chilly night. Thank heaven for the wood stove and the electric blanket!

When we first drove in, I caught a flash of white up on the hill and realized
it was the warning of a deer's tail. Disappeared in a flash.
As usual, we had locals (all cousins and family) dropping by to welcome us "home".
Its nice to know they are around and the keep an eye on things. Theft of summer
cabins is big time in our areas. My brother has been broken into twice since his place was built. If you are not in residence, there is really nothing you can do.
At least our place is insured and there really isn't anything expensive in it
to make off with. If we do bring something, we haul it back home once the weekend
is over.

I am trying to get some pictures here but can't find which file they are in.
When I do find them, I will post.

Reamus:

Good luck on your journey. Let us know how things are going, where you are, etc.

Take care!

Friday

Tonight when my husband gets home, we are going to go to the cabin up north. I have needed this solitude for quite some time now, and this is our first visit this year.
I will be cleaning everything, etc, but I will be THERE.

It is my "true north".

Have a great weekend all. Maybe I will send some pics next time.

Dear Mom, Papa and Tim:

When I got home I found a note from my daughter. The following steps were listed for me to
follow: (All emphasis is mine)


"I've prepared dinner for you guys. Follow the instructions carefully please.

Directions for Delicious Burritos:

1. Warm large tortilla in microwave for 20 seconds (tortillas are tagged with number 1)
2. Spoon meat and onions onto open tortilla (Meat/onions are tagged with number 2)
3. Cover meat in Old El Paso Enchilada Sauce (tagged with number 3)
4. Spoon french market beans onto meat (tagged number 4)
5. Cover with shredded cheese (tagged number 5 Mozzarella, tagged number 5.5 6 cheese Italian)
6. Apply Tabasco liberally (I skipped this step because I don't like Tabasco)
7. Wrap Tortilla tightly, microwave for 30-45 seconds. (the microwave was tagged with the number 7)
8. Enjoy!!

Love,

Teagan"


I am a lucky mom!!!!!

What can I say

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lp0IWv8QZY