Sometimes life can be a tad difficult

No, I am not falling apart. No, I have no illnesses, wounds, broken limbs. But my heart hurts a bit. I don't like it. Sometimes I wish I did not feel so strongly, but then I tell myself at least I "feel" alive. Not excitingly alive. Just not completely dead of heart.

I adore my family and hate to see any of them go through emotional upheaval. Fears of the future, after school, with no real future to speak of. Loans that will have to be paid, years spent on studying something only to find there are no prospects at this time. Times are hard all over especially for young people graduating from college.

I feel badly when I know they are having relationship problems. I am not an expert, I just know that even though things feel terrible at the moment, it will pass. Time and distance do cure many wounds.

I am a mother, with all that comes with the job. I worry about my children, I wish I could help when they go through rough spots, but sometimes a kiss, an ear, or a shoulder are just not enough, and sometimes that is all I can offer.

There is a saying: "Someone should have told us when we became parents that for the rest of our lives our hearts would walk around outside our bodies". My heart is out there riding a bike from St. Paul to the University, riding a bike from Harding to home, and out driving, trying to come to terms with having to really be an adult.

I sometimes wish to keep them always near me. But they need wings and I must encourage them to go out into the world to find their own lives. It is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. To just let go, let them go through hurt, joy, sadness, and all those things that we all go through. They will survive. I think I gave them that at least. And they will become who they are supposed to become.

And I will still be the mother, the wife, and when they need it, a friend.

Rushing

This is a quick post while I wait for my daughter to get me eggs for Phil's cake. I thought I had it all planned out but NO EGGS!

Yes,it is Phil's birthday today and I am making two cakes and potato salad.
Every year Chip and the boys (including Phil) go up to Leech Lake to fish on opening weekend. It usually is on Mother's Day weekend, but I am used to that.

They leave on Friday and come back late on Monday. In past years, I have sent along potato salad but last year I didn't. I was in the process of debating quiting a job that was so horrible, I would come home exhausted every day. I did quit, but like I said, there was no potato salad. Imagine my surprise when the boys called and asked me
where the potato salad had been. I have promised to make it until the end of times.
Its nice that they like it. It is my mother's old recipe....a little of this and a little of that and you mix until it has that perfect taste.

So here I wait. For the eggs. Maybe the cake will be done for dinner. Who knows?
Lucky me my guy is so laid back and will find humor in the situation.

His birthday is always a great day for me too.

Happy Mother's Day to all!!!!