Do we all have these feelings of being overwhelmed? That icky panicky feeling that makes our hearts beat fast and that lump that sits somewhere behind our sternums? Drinking helps but at this time of day, one would have to admit that they have a "problem" even though they might say "somewhere in the world it is 5:00 o'clock.
No, gin is not the answer. I know if I just get up and go down into the dark cellar (basement), and move one thing, maybe two, I will feel I have accomplished something. I have set things in piles, moved the piles, thrown things out, moved the full trash bags. It seems I just push things from one area to another. I dream of having a huge dumpster with a conveyor belt so that I can heave things on and they just go away.
This is what happens when you work at a fabric store for years. You collect and collect, big plans for making things, and then you lose interest in that particular task/project and then you lose the pattern or the idea and are stuck. My husband is not happy with the disaster. He says it looks like one of those houses where they call in the health department. Hoarding.
My sister is coming to visit. She also loves fabric but is neat and tidy and organized while I suffer from ADHD (not diagnosed). And I can not stand that she will think I am some loon woman. I think it is a sickness, this collecting. I have friends who's fabric has taken up the whole basement and most of their homes. I know it is rather normal for a sewer but I can't stand that sort of thing. So, I am throwing away everything and cutting back.
Sigh. Back to the dungeon.
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